Head

Just a little suggestion for gmail and all the folk who run 'Blogger'. If a guy is in a foreign country and he logs into his Blogger account, it will sometimes come up in the local language - in this case Chinese. There is an option to change languages, but unfortunately it is written in Chinese characters, which are not all that easy to take a stab at. Maybe you could have the language options written in the desired language. It might make things a bit easier.

Ok, enough of that. I went to the Hong Kong International Film Festival last night and saw 'Tuya's Marriage'. It was a pretty good film. I don't want to give away too much about it, so I won't say anything other than that it was worth watching and it's set in Mongolia. Oh, and Hong Kong cinemas need to think about a little thing called 'stadium seating'. Every moviegoer's worst nightmare came true for me last night, when a reasonably tall boofhead sat two rows in front of me. I found myself cursing the invention of hair gel as his spikey do got in the way of my subtitle reading.

It ended up being a bit like, "What are........ here?" "I don't wa............ again." "The killer was..........."

I found myself ducking and weaving like a title fighter in an effort to get around this guy's impressive noggen. He can consider himself lucky I wasn't armed with maltesers. It would've been an easy target.

Fart Jokes

There's nothing like a good fart joke, and they don't come much better than in 'Bargearse' - Tony Martin's magnum opus and one of the best variations on "pull my finger" Australia has ever seen.

For those of you who have yet to experience the olfactory (what a brilliant word!) delights that only an overweight copper can offer, you're in for a treat. I should tell you that 'Bargearse' is actually 'Bluey', an old Aussie cop TV show that has been recut, overdubbed and, in my opinion, perfected.



I'd be surprised if anyone comes to look at this blog anymore, since I've hardly posted in the last couple of months, but just in case.... I was wondering if anyone has any good podcasts they can recommend. It's my way of staying in touch with what's going on in Australia. So far, I listen to 'Get This', 'Roy and HG', 'Enough Rope' (but it never gets updated) and... that's it. I've got some episodes of 'The Chaser' too, but it never gets updated. I gave 'Hamish and Andy' a crack. They're ok, but they've got nothing on 'Get This'. I'd like something else to get me through my daily commute. Is there anything good out there?

Unstoppable

Now that Sarah has told me how to add youtube clips to my blog, there will be no stopping me. I feel like a bit of a technological dud sometimes, but then again, I have a blog, so I must be a nerd - a nerd who is crap with computers. Nice.

Speaking of nerding it up, I just watched a presentation on iPhone and I'm in. Just show me where to sign. It's a pity it won't be around for a while.

Enough of this technical mumbo jumbo. On today's programme, all the way from sunny Melbourne, Australia.... as promised.... it's..... The Basics with 'Looking Over My Shoulder' (cue fake applause).

Simon Scorsese

Here's a film that my mate Simon de Bruyn (and his mates) wrote, shot, cut and scored in under 24 hours. Hey, Chris Nicholls is in there, too! Music is by The Basics. Jeepers, let's hear it for the Monash Berwick students.

Wedding

Hi everyone! I've been blog lazy lately, but I've finally gotten off my clacker and downloaded my England photos onto the computer. Here are some photos of Azza and Leah's wedding. It was a fantastic time. I've got a great little video on the camera of Aaron and Leah's first dance, but not sure how to upload it. Any hints from the geeks (geek = not computer illiterate)?

Speaking of weddings; as you probably know, Nomes and I got engaged. Keep an eye on this spot for the engagement story in rhyme! We don't know about wedding dates (or even which country it'll be in) yet, but it looks like it's a while off. The moment we know anything, so will you.

But without any further waffle, I give you... Aaron and Leah - The Wedding. My photos are a little dark, but maybe after Aaron reads this he'll post some better photos on his website!

Thermal Underwear

Why am I slightly embarrassed to write about thermal underwear? Surely there's nothing wrong with it. The weather's cold, there's no heater - wearing a bit of the old thermal underwear is a sensible step. It may not be 'cool', but hey, neither am I.

This might be a bit hard to imagine to those of you back in Australia who are in the middle of a heat wave and fighting fires from Belgrave to Bendigo (or something), but I feel I have to address this important issue. People snigger when I tell them about my thermal undies and I want to know why. There are a few reasons I think people find it funny.

1. The name contains the word 'underwear'.
2. The alternative name is the similarly hilarious, 'Long Johns'.
3. They look stupid
4. People who don't wear them feel tough and like to call you a cold-feeling weakling.

Well, I won't accept any of these, for the follwing reasons.

1. Grow up.
2. See reason 1.
3. You wear normal clothes over the top of them
4. Shut up. I'm tougher than you.

I'm sick of it being a crime to feel the cold. Ever since high school, when Rod, Clint, Craig and I had competitions to see who could wear shorts on the coldest day, I've been ashamed of my tendency to get a little chilly. But no more. Today is the day I stand up and say in a big, bold voice, "I'm cold and I'm proud".

And to all you bigots out there who have a problem with that, you can kiss my toasty warm buttocks.

My Christmas Holiday

I went to the UK
And had a great time
It's a place of great beauty
And history and crime

Azza got married
Leah did too
I was the best man
Mr. Sheen shined my shoe

'Coz I couldn't find polish
I couldn't find gel
I couldn't use cufflinks
But the day still went well

Pontypridd was the place
Where those two tied the knot
That's over in Wales
Where the weather is hot*

I stayed with my parents
Off the Bakerloo line
We ate Christmas breakfast
And drank all Dad's wine

I met up with Cat
Where my brother once stayed
In old Shepherd's Bush -
The expat enclave

Geoff D came over
From France, if you please
He has grown more accustomed
To fine wine and cheese

A week was too short
Now I'm back in Honkers
I can't sleep at night
My body clock's bonkers

But I've heaps more time off
Pretty soon, never fear
God bless the invention
Of Chinese New Year



*not